two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
