uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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