Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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