Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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