How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
