you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
