like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
