I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
