i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone shattered a urinal.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
