Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
