Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
