Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
