It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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