I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
