i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
