I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
