So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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