My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish life had little blips of pornography
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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