that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
