OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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