just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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