I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
