JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
