Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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