Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
