How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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