I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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