it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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