I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
