weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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