Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
