If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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