i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
