4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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