i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish you could order shots online.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
