their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
