i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
