Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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