LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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