Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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