yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
