Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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