This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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