check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
