i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
