His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
