Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
