the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
