I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
why is half of my head shaved?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
