Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
