I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dicks are not precious.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
