why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
